48! Yes today I turn 48! I am proud of the woman I am today, and I miss the young girl I used to be.
I have been through a lot in this life, sexual abuse, physical abuse, addiction, and numerous health issues. My oldest daughter said this was an epic display of women empowerment. That was not my intention for this photo shoot, but yes I hope my story empowers you!
You see, 20 years ago I started getting severe pain in my stomach, loss of memory, confusion, my heart would stop in my sleep. I had a life I loved and suddenly things weren’t so great! I thought it was all from stress. These episodes would come and go. I was seeing several different Drs. And there was never any answer as to why this was happing.
It was such a random thing, and to know that my heart appeared healthy, it was difficult to adjust to the fact that my heart would just stop beating. Not only hard for me, but for my daughter as well!! She still won’t come into my bedroom to wake me up!! She will, however, stand at the doorway and yell until I am awake!! We spent five years going through this bizarre medical mystery. It was just my daughter and I at the time. So you can image how tough this was on her too.
Several attempts to find the cause, several medications ( that did not work), and finally my body had had enough and shut down. I had no blood pressure and my white cell count was through the ceiling!! The ER surgeon decided that exploratory surgery was my only option. He saved my life that day. My intestines had died from lack of blood flow. This released a gas that was stopping my heart.
At this point I knew how precious our time here on this earth was. I knew I had to stop doing what people wanted me to do, or what they expected me to do. I wanted to enjoy my time and LIVE this life, not just exist in it. I know, we all get so caught up in what our future should look like, when we are young. So much so, that we forget to really embrace the things we enjoy! We neglect the NOW. We forget to just BE PRESENT!
I love life! I love adventure! I love water and nature. I enjoy water fountains, dancing in the rain… or splash pads 😆 I love designing and making jewelry. I really enjoy being a mom!! I DO NOT care what people say! People like to hear themselves talk. Do we have to listen to them, NO!! We only need to listen to our hearts! Do what is best for our highest good, not someone else’s !!
Life is a lot of ups and downs, that isn’t going to change. Those are things that make us who we are. Not the ups and downs, but how we respond to them!! Do you focus on the worry and what ifs? Or do you embrace the lessons and find the joy??
I am a survivor! I AM A WARRIOR!! I am a Mom, sister, friend, Aunt, and daughter. I am loved. And I know we all need to lift each other up, we need to stand together and embrace our strengths and our weaknesses!! We should be empowered and empowering others!! I am ME, because of the amazing people in my life! I had the best female role models, and the coolest bosses along the way. These people taught me even when they were not teaching.
I am NOT perfect !! I AM a work in progress. I am still becoming the best version of me! I am LIVING! I am growing, and learning every single day. And I encourage you to get out there and find your bliss!! LIVE this life and leave behind beautiful memories.
Love and Light