Sometimes the holidays can be especially hard for people that have been abused in anyway!!
No one really stops to think about the impact this could have. A person that was mentally or sexually abused could have some very real anger or unsealed feelings toward family members that did not step in. The ones that they feel should have been protecting them.
It is just a fact of the healing process. We tend to want to place blame anywhere. And truly I have recently struggled with parents not listening to the elders about signs. About how inappropriate behaviors can lead to attacks. But the reality is, the abuser is to blame. That is where it should go until you heal enough to forgive that person.
NO IT IS NOT!!
With that said, always be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries about family gatherings. And maybe sit down and talk to the people you feel let you down. Also, don’t force people to be ready to sit with family until they are ready. We always hear “ but it’s family, that’s what family does”
Family nurtures and understands and forgives over time. Stop teaching young people that everything is ok if it’s family !! Family is not always those you are related to either!
Find your Tribe!!
Love and Light